Day 16 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

“I will forgive but I won’t forget.”  I have heard this statement more than you know.  What this announcement really indicates is that “I will be cordial and look like I am moving on, but I am not forgiving you, yet.”  Do you have to forget in order to forgive?  Absolutely not; but, setting your intentions on remembering is simply staying focused on the offense, which means you are not letting it go and you’re not forgiving.

If you burn your hand on the stove, you don’t stay mad at the stove.  You forgive it because in order to cook your meals you must interact with it.  You may handle it differently, because of your recollection of how you harmed yourself when you used it before.  However, over time you become at ease and less guarded with it and rarely if ever bring up the burn again.  The stove is essential to your survival and serves you well, so one little offense here and there will not leave you in a state of bitterness towards it.

What about those mornings that you stub your toe on the bed post?  This is another instance where forgiving comes so naturally.  After you accidentally run into the post while walking around your room, you begin to hop around all morning using words that you would not want anyone to hear coming out of your mouth.  Those toe injuries can be the worst and you don’t need a bed post to survive or thrive, but somehow you manage to get on with your day without constantly recalling the pain you felt in the moment. 

When it comes to one’s heart and feelings, forgiveness becomes a daunting task.  When one bruises our ego, it we latch on to our side, our way, our anger and resentment, like we’ll never get the chance to be hurt again.  We sometimes place undue guilt and weight on the person who we believed has harmed us more than what the offense even warrants.  When will we value people more than the stove and the bed post?  When will we love ourselves enough to allow our hearts to heal as quickly as our bodies after the assault of physical pain?  We owe it to ourselves to be forgiving, to preserve the right relationships, and sever the ties in others by letting go of the offense and by doing what it takes to heal our souls.  Ask yourself the questions, “When will I begin to nurture my soul and spirit the way I nurture my body?” and “How long will I allow myself to be resentful about any wrongdoing done against me?” 

Lord, I pray for my sister today that she realizes that she gets to decide how long she will be angry and resentful over wrongful acts conducted towards her.  I pray that she is realistic in her charges towards others and that she will allow her heart to hurt only for a short time if any at all.  I ask God that you heal her from the part of the ego that deem it necessary to call everything that is said or done to her as wrong and causes unwarranted strife in her relationships.  Holy Spirit, I ask for your conviction to be upon her in every situation she encounters and that she is fair and just of her judgments about them, not assuming that everyone is out to harm her.  Heal her, Lord, and set her free from her need to be angry, resentful, and defending, I pray! Amen! 

#IAmMySistersKeeper

 

Day 15 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

Try to think of forgiveness as a fountain of fresh, cool water flowing on a warm summer day.  It’s like that moment you feel faint and you discover this refreshing awaiting you.  It is really quite that delightful.  I’ve coached women who were angry with someone and were not willing to drop their defenses towards the people who’d hurt them; and, they had created walls with people who had not done anything to them based on those experiences they had with their offenders.  What I witnessed was women who appeared very strong, astute, well-put together, yet so stern they were breakable and easily shattered. 

Then, with just the right question as the right time, the moment of surrender would breakthrough and those very confident women became rivers, cascades, springs of water; yes, the tears would flow, the release overwhelming, but the freedom well worth it.  I would witness their breakthrough and the walls would come crumbling down, their hearts were open to love and forgiveness, and they just wanted to be free, again.  Whew, how refreshing is that?  Probably more refreshing than that cool fountain on a warm, sunny day.

Ladies, our freedom is not in creating strong defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from the injustices others try to impose upon us.  Our freedom and real strength emerge as a result of our vulnerability, femininity, and truth.  The cover up, the walls, the boxing stance are all illusory positions we’ve taken.  They are not real to us nor are they the real us.  We’ve learned how to fight from a position of defense; however, we are most successful when we learn how to allow others to be them, to have their struggles, without us personalizing their actions as attacks against us.  Let it go!  Drop your guards.  Live and let live.  Be happy, be free, be a lady, who is so confident that you know without the input of others, good or bad, that you are immune to the opinions and actions of others.  Forgive and be free!

Lord, thank you for being our perpetual fountain of relief from the heart aches we own unnecessarily, and for the offenses we make our own.  Guide us into all righteous, where we see ourselves and others as you see us; for, we are made in your image but with a few human frailties. Fill us with the forgiveness towards one another that You have for us. Help us to forgive quickly and free our minds and hearts from the turmoil in which we hold ourselves. As ladies, Father, we want to conduct ourselves in the true nature in which You created us.  Teach us and love us until we are there.  We want to know that you are our protector so that we can relax.  Help our unbelief and console us often.  Set us free, Oh God, from the wiles of our own mind; and, give us the mind of Christ.  Thank you & Amen!

#IAmMySistersKeeper

 

Day 14 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

Sister-on-sister fighting is the worst ever!!!  Women can be so vicious.  We tend to aim at drawing blood and kill if we have to; and, I don’t mean literally except when it comes to our words.  Boy, it is hard to forgive a woman once you’ve been wounded by one, so I’ve been told.  I know firsthand how crafty I can be with words in a split second and without thinking about it much.  It’s like there’s this smart, antagonistic, sarcastic you-know-what inside of me hard asleep UNTIL…   Yes, someone is reading this right now, laughing because you know exactly what I am talking about.  There’s this internal button that someone pushes at the right or wrong time and words fly out of our mouths that we wish we could take back.  If you’re like me, you may even ask, “Oh my, from where did that come?”

I will unapologetically tell you, it comes from the heart.  We carry so much in our hearts without knowing it.  My guess is that those kinds of improper, un-lady like responses take root in our hearts when we are listening to our other sisters speak of the transgressions, which have happened against them, and we instantly think, “if that happened to me, I would have done this” or “I would have said this” and we store those actions and responses for another day.  Then, on that day, that it happens, when the lash happens against the people who love the most; and, in a split second we’ve made ourselves hard to forgive.  We used words and phrases that were so cruel and painful and we cannot take them back.

Let us purpose in our hearts today to think on things which are pure, righteous, and loving and stop creating negative comebacks in our minds and hearts because of our fear of being hurt.  We are only setting ourselves us for failure in our relationships when we make ourselves hard to forgive.  Let us intend today to be the gentle, nurturing, loving, empathetic, and compassionate creatures God made us.  He is our protector.  He will speak for us and deal with anyone who attempts to wrongly deal with us.  Let us rest in that.

My prayer right now is that every woman who is gifted with the gift of gab and creativity will use her talents in ways which edify and encourage others.  Lords, strengthen our lips to remain sealed when we know that the words we are about to speak may be harmful to others.  Help us to guard our minds and hearts at all times, block any foul thoughts which may enter it from remaining.  We understand we cannot always control what comes to our minds, but we know that we’ve got the power to determine and control what stays there.  Empower us with your Spirit, daily, to aid us in this process.  We desire to be women loved and easily forgiven by others.  Help us, Lord, and bless us, too!  Thank you!  Amen!

#IAmMySistersKeeper 

Day 13 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

How long do you harbor offenses?  I mean someone lies on you; maybe even slander your good name.  How long do you choose to be upset with that person? Are you irritated every time you hear their name or see them?  Are you waiting for their day of doom or for karma to take place? 

Now, let me flip just a bit.  When have you lied on someone, maybe even slandered their name? I know you would never do it on purpose.  You may have simply repeated what was told to you by reliable source.  It could have been that your side of the story was just so different from theirs.  Nevertheless, when have you committed offenses towards others and knew it, either instantly or later?  When you realized that you were wrong, did you acknowledge, confess, and ask for forgiveness?  When you asked forgiveness, how soon did you really want it?  How does it make you feel when others’ forgiveness of you is delayed?

I ask these questions simply to help provoke objectivity.  When we find others’ wrongdoing towards us as offensive, then at that very moment we are no longer thinking objectively.  We have now taken things personally, which means that we have become subjective; yet, we want others to keep an open mind when it comes to our mishaps with them.  The basic rule for forgiveness is the same golden rule for everything, simply “do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”  Forgive others just as you would like to be forgiven.

The ultimate goal of course is not to take offense at all.  You may ask, “how do I shake it off when people are lying on me?” My answer is, “Jesus did it!” We are made in His likeness, so we are able to do the same.  When people lie on you and drag your name through the mud, their actions are a reflection of their character.  When people believe them and continue to spread the news that they don’t know to be true or false, their actions are also a sign of their own issues. People who have joy, peace, love, and respect in their hearts don’t gossip nor do they entertain it.  So, the gossiping, lying, and backbiting is not about you unless you are the one doing it.  Therefore, if you choose to be offended at your naysayer’s actions, please forgive quickly; but, the grandest goal is not to have to forgive but to never become offended.

Father, I thank you for my sisters reading this at this moment.  I ask that you remove any anger, malice, and resentment from their heart that has taken root.  I pray that their eyes are opened to their own ways and that they remained focused on their own journey and aim to never participate in the things in which they find offensive when they are on the opposite end.  Lord, I ask that after heart surgery is performed and all of the unforgiveness is removed, that you fill the hole with confidence, peace, purity of speech, and truth.  Thank you, Lord! Amen!

#IAmMySistersKeeper

 

Day 12 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

What is it?  What did you do?  What has you so ticked off at yourself that you cannot let it go?  You know, we have all done that one thing in life that causes us to think, “If only I knew then what I know now.”  Some of us have taken it unhealthy levels, however, where we just keep trying to fix it and make it right.  Please hear me, a mistake is just that, a mistake – something you did that could have been done differently or better. At some point, you have to accept that you did what you did, and move on.  We cannot change our yesterdays, we can only learn from them.  Therefore, we must not dwell there or we lose the precious moments of the here and now and miss new opportunities and blessings.  Staying stuck in the past hinders our dreams and plans for a solid and beautiful future.

Think about putting a car in drive with intent of driving forward for a mile or even 500 feet while you are looking backwards as to go in reverse.  It would not work, you’d wreck everything, your own vehicle and everything within its proximity.  The same is true when we try to move forward in our lives but our focus is in the review mirror.  It will not work.  At some point we have to make peace with our past and forgive ourselves for that mishap or unwise choice, learn from it and move forward.  You cannot go forward and backward at the same time.  It’s not physically, mentally, spiritually, literally, or figuratively possible.  Please do me and you a favor: Stop right where you are, do an about-face, take an empathetic look in the mirror and say, “I forgive you! Yesterday is gone, my future is bright, and today, the present, I accept as a gift to create new and better experiences.  I am worthy in God’s eyes. He’s forgive me.  So, today, I forgive me!” Then, forward! March!!!!

Lord, I pray for my sister soldier right now as she turns her back on the past, armors up, and marches forward.   I know life hasn’t been easy, and she has not always made the best choices; but, let her know of your unfailing love and your everlasting forgiveness towards her.  Father, please whisper in her ear, “Daughter, forgive yourself: I find no fault in you!”  I pray she believes it, Father.  Strengthen her faith!  Let every encounter she has today remind her that she is worthy of new mercies and blessings this day.  If it necessary Father, remove her past mistakes from her memory if that will cause her to walk in the freedom that you desire for her and that she so desperately needs to live a fulfilled life and the abundant life in which Christ came to give us all. Amen!

My sister, please know you are forgiven.  Forgive yourself!  I love you, but God love you more than you could ever imagine!

 #IAmMySistersKeeper

Day 11 - 40 Day Prayer & Empowerment Challenge

I’ve heard it said that forgiveness is for the forgiver more than it is for the forgiven.  I did not understand that for a while but today I get it.  I’ve learned that when we do not forgive, we carry a weight that is much too heavy for us to carry.  When we are burdened with holding on to offenses, we can find ourselves seeking vengeance even if it is just wishing for the demise of the one who has wronged us; and, we are qualified or capable of making others pay for their wrongdoing.  Refusing to forgive wraps us up in our pain so much that it’s not possible for us to think logically or spiritually.  If we were, we’d remember that what we desire for others, we bring to ourselves.  So, yes, forgiveness is more for the forgiver that it is for the forgiven.

I am reminded of the saying, “there’s a thin line between love and hate.”  I say to you that there is contrast to all good and evil.  Therefore, for love there’s hate, for courage there is debilitating fear, for peace there is angst, for happiness there is sadness, for forgiveness there’s resentment; and, there’s a thin line between them all.  Why not step back over the line to love, peace, happiness, and forgiveness?  Life events will sometime pull us back and forth, but it is ultimately our choice to determine where we will reside most of the time, in misery or in joy.  My hope is that you choose joy; but, you must forgive in order to get there.

Forgiveness is for you!  It may appear that you are letting the other person off the hook, but what’s most important is that you are letting yourself off the hook.  Doesn’t it feel good to know that you can just let it go?  Let it go or let it continually rob you of life, love, and happiness.  Don’t let it go just for you, but let go for all the people you love. When we harbor unforgiveness, it’s like carrying poison that is not labeled hazardous substance and it cannot be contained; therefore, it is spewed out upon the people closest to you.  I bet if they knew where your anger and frustration were really coming from, they would say, “Please, let it go!”

Lord, I pray that you bless my sister right now and bless her indeed!  Open her cell and beckon her to come. Help her make the decision to walk out of bondage and into freedom, today!  Lord, you’ve given her your Spirit in every breath she takes, please remind her to breathe and release and do not to take that breath for granted, because you are the giver of life. I pray she accepts that gift every time she exhales. In those moments may she blow out the negative feelings towards others, for they are your children, too. May she inhale the fruits of your Spirit, like joy, peace, gentleness, self-control, and love as she remembers that she too have wronged others and need forgiveness.  Give my sister the strength, courage, and determination to let it go, TODAY!!!! Amen!!!  

#IAmMySistersKeeper

Day 10 - 40 Day Prayer and Empowerment Challenge

Growing up in love can be one of the most challenging actions.  I love seeing a new born baby cry because she want to feel the warmth of her mother’s touch.  She calms as she nestled tightly between mommy’s breast and forearms and rocked gently.  Then, she matures to a low level of independence, where she wants to walk without guidance, yet she wants to be hugged and hummed to sleep.  She continues to grow and grown and eventually desires to mimic what she’s witnessed as love between mother and father or simply man and woman.  Only, one day she wakes up and suddenly feels like she’s been improperly trained because this “love thing” doesn’t always feel so good and often times seems to go wrong.  Sounds familiar?

What if it could be as easy as when we were babies?  That’s a wonderful thought, but it will never be because we are not babies, we are teenagers, and we are not college students: We are women and just like our bodies mature, our minds, emotions, and our love must mature.  The body matures naturally, but the rest of our maturity takes effort.  We must be intentional about our mental and emotional development and open ourselves to the wisdom of other women with loving spirits to help guide us.  That woman may be your mother, a mentor, a friend, or even a role model. It really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that we realize even as grown women we need someone in which to glean knowledge to help us grow wiser and more loving with time.

We must also be willing to share what we’ve learned with other women, young and old, who are not at the level of maturity in which we’ve reached.  The mind and heart are so sensitive that this work cannot be taken lightly. We must be handled with velvet gloves and we should be careful to do the same when helping others reach higher ground.  It’s every woman’s responsibility to help another sister know true love, IF she knows it.  It’s every woman’s responsibility to share the wisdom and knowledge with other women, IF she has is.  It’s every woman’s responsibility to first examine herself to determine if she should share anything yet or just keep learning as to not cause more harm to other women than is already done.  No matter which woman you are, to do what’s best for the next woman is to be your sister’s keeper; and, that’s the woman’s responsibility.

My prayer today is that you commit to your own personal development and growth.  Know that no matter what you’ve achieved, you have not arrived.  Father, always keep us at a place that we desire to press in closer to you, to learn more about your love, and convict us until we are obedient and living by what you share and passing those wisdom nuggets on to other women.  Lord, give us some sense of responsibility to every woman you entrust in our care, to love her, nurture her, encourage her, uplift her, and give to her!  Remove all envy, jealousy, backbiting, two-facedness, anger, resentment, and pretense that we may have against all women, but especially ones you’ve given to us as assignments. Let us support our sisters, because we so desperately want and need their support.  Help us, Heavenly One, to be our sisters’ keeper! Amen!

#IAmMySistersKeeper