In our busy lives, we place so many expectations on ourselves and on others; sometimes realistic and sometimes not so realistic. Figuring out what can is realistic and what's not can be difficult but doesn't have to be. Simply, think of what you expect of yourself compared to what you're actually able to do (within reason); and, based on that you should not expect anymore from anyone else. Next, if you are sick, tired and unsatisfied even after accomplishing everything on your laundry list, then was it really worth pushing yourself to those limits? Then, don't place that level of expectation on someone else. At the end of the day, there will always be something else to accomplish. So, how do we temper those expectations and how to do we protect that which we really should expect?
Tempering expectations only come when we are intentional about it. If you are a perfectionist and have always had what others think are unrealistic expectations of them, then this will be a tough transition and will only happen if you realize that you have them, yourself. If you don't see it that way then you will probably not see these next steps as useful.
How to temper expectations...
1) If you know that your expectations are a little steep even for you, do some self reflecting and readjust them so that you can feel accomplished and at the same time remain healthy and happy.
2) Determine if most the people you love and care about think that you have unrealistic expectations.
3) If the answer is, "Yes" ask them, individually, "What them what is realistic to you?"
4) Once the two of you negotiate about what is realistic for the both of you as it relates to your relationship, then be respectful of the boundaries and uphold your end of the bargain.
5) Check in regularly (at least once a month) to have a loving and honest conversation about how things are going and be willing to modify when necessary.
Most importantly, protect what you expect?
1) Be accountable by writing down your expectations, goals, objectives, etc. and reading them daily.
2) Be responsible by simplifying a day-to-day or week-to-week list to help meet your expectations.
3) Be vulnerable by discussing your challenges with a confidant and then listen for divine guidance.
4) Be teachable by always seeking ways to be a better you.
Lord, as women, we really struggle with our expectations of ourselves and of others. Sometimes, they are lacking and sometimes they are way over the top. Father, we ask that you teach us balance. We ask that you help us to be realistic yet unafraid to tell people what we want from them in a loving. We ask that you give us courage to be accountable, responsible, vulnerable, teachable so that we will fill accomplished and fulfilled. We thank so much for always helping us grow closer to You, to others, and to ourselves. Thank You, Jesus, for being our example! Amen!!
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